something has come over me.

i've been feeling reclusive lately and quite overwhelmed. it's people, large crowds, humidity, and sweat. and people.

saturday: couldn't even get through a new york street crowd. failed miserably at multiple attempts to push through it. just stood there, engulfed by smelly bar-hoppers and horny couples. my friends laughed.
sunday: had no motivation to get to know a houseful of new people. sat, watched a few movies (somewhat), but mostly ate. even felt awkward amongst people i knew. just wanted to leave.

for friends who know me, i'm usually extroverted, relatively open, and assertive. so all this is strange. i can't imagine what it's like for those of you who live like this all the time. one friend suggests that it’s because i’m preparing to leave. another thinks it’s the weather. i think i’m thinking too much. damn! people are leaving me before i leave them.